Thursday, August 9, 2012

Moment of Awkward

This morning at work, during our daily meeting, we shift topics to missionary work. I work in the healthcare field, and I am blessed to work with mostly Christians.

My boss was sharing about the missionaries that visited her church last night. They were fourth generation missionaries in the Congo. I'm not sure the specifics, but it did spark an interest. She didn't get to share much before our nurse mentioned something about always praising the work missionaries do, as it is not something she thinks she could do. Among the lack of things, she struggles with anxiety, especially with heights and bridges and such. She said she just couldn't do it. Mind you most of those I work with are in the 50s or greater.

Another mentioned they didn't think they could handle it either. My boss chimes in to the same tune. As the mention the things they'd struggle with, like lack of toilets, insects, deadly snakes, all the way to talking about dirt, showering and bathing. As their list of things stopping them grew, I had no reason to chime in.

I sat there, and at every mention, it was if my heart almost jumped. Those things that hold them here, felt like challenges to me. Those are the things that stand in the way of those unreached for Christ. Those things, don't bother me. In fact, I often do think how life would be so much simpler.

Don't get me wrong, I like my internet, my nice phone with internet at my fingertips, my nice house, and hot showers. But that is only a part of me. The of part says lets go, right now. I don't feel as if one part of me is holding me back, I've been on the mission field, I do know what it's like, but I do not yet feel released to go back.

Part of me truly believes its because I'm to tell others, like you. To help others stop and think about it, and in turn allow God to possible move them in that direction. The other part of me knows, I have so much here, and I need to have that mind set of a mission field here at home. I have so much to learn about living that missionary life here, everyday.

So that awkward moment wasn't a bad thing. It really started driving me to delve deeper, yet again. And gives me more hope and passion, that one day I will get the opportunity to work outside these comforts, within the unfamiliar. I know God does not give us develop passion, without reason.

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